Let me give a little back story to why times are changing. In 1998 my husband died three days after I found out I was pregnant with our son. I decided then that it was time to start over. By starting over I meant to leave the state...no this particular part of the country. I had a 3 year old daughter and a child on the way and I wanted to get them away from the area I grew up in.
Well, fortunately (or unfortunately, I still haven't decided) I also was in love with the man I am still with and I told him that I was moving after the funeral and why. He asked me to stay. I decided to give US a try so I did. Here it is 14 years later and we are finally going to leave.
The job situation in this area is virtually nonexistent and promotion within a current job is even more so. He wants to go back to school, but not here. The kids are beginning to understand why I did not want them to grow up in this area. He is finally ready to leave. The kids (save the 2nd daughter) want to start over. Me? Well, I don't know if it's the impending upheaval in our lives or just out and out terror, but I'm scared.
Why? I have been wanting this for years. I know that where we're going is going to be great for the family. I also know it is what my oldest daughter needs for her own sanity. I know he needs this for his peace of mind. We are moving closer to members of my family that I want to be around. We can afford to live in this part of the country without sacrificing safety for the kids. What is going on?
The furthest I have gotten is that over the years I have discovered that I prefer familiarity. I know this area. I know what to expect here. I know where to go for help. I have relationships here that I will miss when we leave. However, we will have more opportunities there. The weather is warmer there. The people are "good ole boys" there. The cost of living is similar as to here. Other than the familiarity, there's nothing but 600 miles and different people between this town and that one.
I have decided to leave it up to the powers that be. If it's meant to be, we will get the house we're looking at (and will find out about today). If they are feeling really generous, he will get the transfer. If not, he says he will look at a competitor for employment. I will pack the house up and make the arrangements to move our lives from one place to another. I will get Luna road-worthy (she needs new tires, an oil change, turn signal replaced, and front end aligned). I will transfer the kids' school records. I will set up the utilities, deposits, get the tags transferred, make sure the insurance will cover from here to there, and a multitude of other things that come with a cross-country move. And then, when that is all over and done, I will want to sleep for a month!
I went to Walmart tonight with the intention of getting toilet paper for the house and came home with a new tool box, a new drill, packing tape, sharpies, quick tabs (personal joke), baggies, and a socket adapter for the new (more powerful) drill. I walked out of there thinking that I must be getting older and set in my ways because I'm taking on one hell of a job!
Tari
